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Wednesday, June 28, 2006
i looked up to the sky and looked at the clouds. He's just right up there looking down at me. So am I worshipping Him through my words and actions? It's really stupid to want to answer those questions i had. Why didn't i give it all to God and let Him answer them for me?
Looking at the scenery through the windows of the bus (although there's nothing much to see except roads and buildings) just reminds me of the song, All Things Bright and Beautiful.
All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small All things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all Each little flower that opens, each little bird that sings He made their glowing colours He made their tiny wings...
:) You are faithful. thank You, thank You, thank You.
Conversations recorded during Chinese Lesson,when Laoshi was absent. by Kendra Ang and Molina Thirumal -260606- "mine one's not true!" "ya, mine's not true"
"not everybody" "no lah! i'm kidding"
"No I don't" " camp ended on ......, then on sunday right..."
"vanessa" "dawn yeo" "she's a mix right?" "Amanda"
"You're forever losing weight *****" "Yeah and i never do" "that's cause you dont' try to" "we do!"
"EW! very sad lah!"
"No" "yes" "you're blushing" "no"
"rub my eye then rub my pimple" "Mosquito bite LAH!"
"i want to see close up" "not handsome one lah"
"imagine that you had a shoe that can run on tiny balls" "sorry?" "imagine that you had a shoe right... that can run on tiny balls" "what???"
"where isit?" "under your desk ah?"
"What am i supposed to do?"
Monday, June 26, 2006
thank You Lord Father... thank You thank You thank You thank You and more thank Yous..
Sunday, June 25, 2006
I love to worship You, my God I love to worship You, my Lord And see Your Spirit fall in power Your love unfolding Gifts from heaven
I love to worship You, my God I love to worship You, my Lord And feel Your precious Breath of heaven Your all consuming love
Holy Spirit come in power Change my heart I want to live for You, my God Let Your Spirit come in power Change my life That I may live for You my Lord Fall on us Lord
So I yearn for You Long to see You move Lord, I lift my hands before my King and pray
i apologise for worrying you about my previous previous post. I was just... i don't know. anyway, thanks for all care and concern. DON'T WORRY. i'm alive. Although i still hesitate while crossing the road.. :P
Anyway, just watched a World Cup match! finally! I haven't watched any match in one week! It was the Germany VS Sweden match. Hmm.. When i went into my parent's room to watch, it was already the 9th min and Germany have already scored! "WAH. That was fast!" then after i settled down, they scored again! Gah. Scary.. hahaha I feel guilty for snatching the tv away from my mom... :S I literally snatched it from her! I said " iw anna watch football" " You woke yourself up just to watch football?" "ya..." then i switched the channel to 27 when she was watching a movie on Ch 58...
Hmmm.. holiday homework. :S :S :S I really feel like giving up. GAHH
Saturday, June 24, 2006 it's getting to me now. And i really can't stand it. When i saw that car coming, i really felt like stopping and just let it hit me. hit me hard.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Gah. i'm growing fat.GRR. and it's super obvious now that i'm fat. gahhh. i've put on 0.5kg again. from all those oily fatty food and biscuits and those few hours of sleep. Gah! i've got to lose weight manx. or soon i wldn't be able to wear my clothes.. :S
Y A W N Z
there's still undone work left... :S I told myself everyday :i'd finish it today but my work's never completed! i need discipline. discipline!
7 random facts about me : - i'm kendra - i'm getting fatter - i love eating - i'm always random - i talk crap - i go high when i'm tired - i'm fat 7 thing that scare me : - ppl who are fierce.. :S - i don't know ler - my mind's not working - animals - height - pain 7 random music at the moment : - Look To You - Hillsongs - All For Love - Fall - God He Reigns - You Yi Wei Shen - Lifesong - Bei Feng Chui guo de xia tian - JJlin and jinsha 7 things I like the most : - GOD - family - friends - food - my "bed" - music - piano 7 things I say the most : - Banana cake! - i want to sleep! - Gahh - grr - hehe.. haha - alright - frozen yoghurt..... 7 people I want them to do this : just do if you want to...
Thursday, June 22, 2006 bible camp has finally ended and i've seen God's Work once again. From the testimony on God's protection on Melina to seeing my sister tearing because of God's love. It was an amazing experience. And it really comforts me seeing the younger ones growing in the Lord. It's so amazing that i can't even find words to describe how i'm feeling... ... ...
Anyway, I'm the new soundWOMAN of YM! wahaha! ok lar... i was just helping... cause i was bored on the first day so i decided to learn to do the soundsystem! hehehe! and i love my "bed" in the slack room of clubhouse! hahahah! it just seems weird now at home lying on my really bed... .... ...... well, well.
I really miss camp.... haha.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
hey hey! haha.. it's 0635 now and i'm online! hahaha.. ok lar.. i'm here cause i woke up at 3 am to watch the Germany V Poland match and stayed up since then! And since i was awake, i might as well finish up some stuff that i haven't. Hmm... the Germany Vs Poland match was... :S Germans weren't playing well today!!! There were opportunities to score but... haix.. *shakes head* nevermind.heh. Actually, another reason why i didn't want to go to sleep is that there're many things undone and i've got to do them! so..yeah...here i am.haha
Alright, i can't think of anything to post... haha. bye!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Argh. i'm sorry if i didn't answer your call! My handphone battery sucks so i need to turn off all vibration and tone... and thus, when i don't check my phone at the time when you call, your call would be missed.
Anyway, this week's the third week of Holidays... and i haven't clicked on the HeyMath Assignment link yet. GRrr. i hate HeyMath... :S :S :S They kept sending emails to me in every 3 days or so for the first 2 weeks of hols.... I'm glad that they've stopped. :S ARghh.. homework homework!! i really, really Dont' feel like touching any of them. And i was supposed to finish them by the 1st week of hols. Wahahahahahhaa... and i've left 1 more week of holiday... 12 more days to sch reopen! Sick. (aaahhchooo)
Oh, i just remembered that i haven't finished my maths assessment yet. Great. How great... i'm becoming lazier and lazier... and my room's getting messier and messier with paper and books piling.. GREAT. and tuition's tonight. oh great.... .... ....
ahh, another random thought. I'm putting on weight again!! GRR!! i look fat now.. :( and i'm still eating like nobody's business... haix..how i wish i've got high metabolism rate..hehe.. then i wldn't really need to worry about eating too much. grr... gahhh... Arghh..! Urgh!
another random thought... I feel guilty again. I've been being so cold towards my dad when he's trying to be really nice to me... and even tried to make me happy. Haix..sorry...
i have many thoughts and questions now. But i can't seem to find anybody to answer them for me.. lalala... nvm. i shall go search for the answers myself. :)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006 i'm posting again. just right after the post that i just posted. i feel lousy again haha. stupid to be posting this, but... i don't know. i can't find human to speak to... I've been a terrible friend these few days. ignoring..? showing faces? argh. Something's wrong with this world. or me. or... i don't know.
i know that i can always talk to Him and He will make me feel better. but, sometimes, i just need to have a human to listen to me... or give me advices.. or agree with me? i dont' know... I want to always be right. right. right. (i know i can't... and i'm not always right) and it's quite irritating to be TALKING TO MYSELF.
"kendra..stop blah blah blah blah" "can you pls stop...kj;lkhnljkn" " you're just mad. Go sleep" " i hate kjadofhnpao lah... why ajpdofihnwogno" " ok.. i shall tell Him about it..." " yea.. go tell..why are you still blogging?" " why are you ignoring Him?" "what are you doing?"
Alright.shall stop this childish thoughts from flowing... good night.
I feel tired.. haix...
Hmm! Club house looks great! haha..thanks to Suzanne and Huiyu!! rocks!
Actually, i didn't want to blog. But i was bored reading my previous post again and again. So i decided to post something. I'm still deciding what to post about... My... worries? no... no worries.. Anxieties? no.. no anxieties... exhaustion? how to post about that? Happiness? nothing to be happy about... enthusiasm? no enthusiasm for anything...
I'm just sian-ed! The holidays are getting boring.. I'm getting bored of what i'm doing... :S That's why i've been in a mood to play the piano nowadays. I need new things to cheer me on, and me being interested in Piano again is good! Piano exam's so near!! and i haven't been practising my pieces... -_-" i wonder how i'm going to pass Grade 5! (Pray hard and play hard! )
I'm really sianz-ed! i actually walked home from church today... By the bus route.. :S At first, i wanted to walk to the next bus stop from the church's one. Then i thought, well, shall exercise more..then i continued... i was at Lorong 5.. and i told myself "i might as well continue!", so i did... and i was then at Lorong 8 already... i might as well just walk home! it's only an overhead bridge away! so i did.. haha.. it took me 45 mins... I thought i was going to have thoughts in my head and i would have a good time thinking through my life or smth. Haha, my mind was just blank. I only thought of how to get home from Lorong 8 market and how to avoid ppl's weird glances at me ( iwas being sensitive). And i only thought of how i should just walk to Lorong 8 market next time to get the fried carrot cake for lunch.. (food again.. i'm a pig manx. GRR!) Nothing about... whatever i thought i would think about came to my mind. I was just.. i don't know... blank. I walked blankly from lorong 2 to 8... hmm... Oh, and while i was at Lorong 8, i saw somebody who really, really, REALLY resembled Xavier Yen Jun Jie!! haha.. REally! and the boys were playing football.hahaha.. I almost fell due to staring. I wanted to message my cousin, but.. aiya.haha..lazy. plus i've been using quite a lot of messages for sms-ing stupid lemon and some project, camp ppl.. -_-""
haha.. Anyway, when i went home this evening, i was quite surprised to see Fayth foo and Joel! haha. Joel's grown... he sounds different i guess. They were watching Holland V and eating... I thought they were going to stay for dinner, but they weren't. Hmm...
I just realised that i'm becoming more and more like her. sucks.
I hate it when i'm told that i look or sound like somebody. It's just... GRR! I want to be different! I don't want to be known as "oh.. that one who looks like blah blah blah" or " that one who sounds like ????" or " that one who acts and speaks like whoever" or "the one who is just like .......???"
Ok.. i'm getting tired... there's a match now... but.. *yawnz* I should go sleep. a tiring and busy week to come!
Saturday, June 10, 2006 I was surprised to receive a message from friendster. --- friendster request from Sarah. SARAH?? Sarah ckx??!!! hahaha... I remember that a bout a year or 2 ago, i invited her to join in Friendster. and she was so firm that she wldn't join in. However, she's now inviting me as her Friendster friend! interesting!! i guess.. pigs are flying now... (from australia -- Air Pork) hahaha.. another surprising thing... Sarah tagged! hahaha... but it was really a pleasant surprise :D Thank you sar sar!!
anyway, today was a great day! haha.. i stayed up to watch World Cup. Opening match-- Germany VS Costa Rica. GREAT MATCH MANX!! unbelievable! hahaha! especially the last goal! WOOHOO! nice shot, whoever you are(from Germany)! :P Wanted to watch the 3 am one on Tv1..but..so blur... the screen keeps jumping and made me dizzy. So i decided to go to sleep instead.
Went to church today at 10 to do some camp prep stuff. hmm.. wanted to walk to church........ but was afraid that i'd lose my way there! so i decided to take a bus instead. After lunch, we(many guys and Jingyi, Cindy and Maylin and I) came back seeing them, and tomorrow's worship team playing captain's ball so we quickly joined in. Captain's ball today was fun. REAL fun. Laughing and laughing till my face was like, numb and couldn't go back to the normal not-smiling kendra. my eyes also cldn't be adjusted.hahahaa... but really had fun today. It's one of those rare times when i really, REALLY enjoy a captain's ball game, although my scoring today was :S :S :S. (well, most probably because it was a no-rules game... :P) Couldn't score properly today... -_-""
Back to World Cup, the group B match, England VS Paraguay has ended 30 mins ago. Gahh.. at first, when England had a goal, i thought it was going to be as interesting as yesterday's match. Well, it was interesting... IN A DIFFERENT WAY. Why it was interesting? 1. Referee was biased against England 2. Foul England players for no trying to get the ball and slipping and accidentally hitting the opponent 3. A yellow card given just a few mins after the game has started 4. Nervous Paraguayn(SP help!) goal keeper slidded to defend the ball (for nothing... Owen wasn't really attacking much) and hurt himself. For.. nothing! and substituting Goal keeper in the VERY early part of the game 5. Lampard's attempts to score for England 6. Stupid Referee not fouling the Paraguay players when they OBVIOUSLY foul-ed.
If you've watched the match, you may help to complete the list.
haha.. shall go get ready to watch the next match.hahhaa... :D
Friday, June 09, 2006
just.. another random thought. isit true that girls think much more negatively than guys?
haha... i was listening to Yin1 yue4 ri4 ji4 this late morning in my dad's car and i really felt like slapping the woman and shaking to wake her up. HELLO??? why do you think so much? When you're free... OR BORED, go do something that occupies your mind. When you suspect something, try to clarify it. haha.. not go and read your husband's messages or something. haha..it's pretty rude. but while i was having those thoughts, i asked myself... if i were in HER shoes, would i do the same thing? would i even DARE to go clarify my thoughts? haha... i dont' even do that now... i just let my mind go wild (e.g... last night) mm.. oh well.. maybe Women are just... i don't know.. i shouldn't comment.
"i'm still young"
Hmm... It's stupid and dumb how i made such a big fuss about it. It's just a little teeeeeny weeeny beekeeny thing and i'm already making myself go mad. Maybe i am just mad.
Well well, i guess it's because i was too tired last night that i thought too much. Maybe that's why i prefer the day. haha... the sky makes me happy! :D Oh, talking about the sky, did you people see the moon last night? it was LOVELY. it was shining so brightly through my window! And somehow, i was just really happy. It just reminds me of God's Faithfulness. He would never leave us in the dark. :D thank You, Lord!
I think i'm experiencing some mood swings nowadays. haha... so ehh, don't come too close if you know that i don't like you. hahaha.. jkjk. I can't even think of any example of someone whom i dislike. hahaha!
It's friday. 2 weeks of holidays have passed. and guess what... ... ... i've only completed 1 assignment. (Zhou Ji). well well, i've done most of the questions in the maths mock paper... a few questions in the Life Science paper and umm... haven't bothered to go to HeyMath yet. . . hmm... don't worry. i'd do it... soon. :D
i've learnt it: don't bother you.
Thursday, June 08, 2006 yes, i'm flower heart! ARGH! and i hate it... that jealousy's getting to me again! GAH!
why do you visit her but not me? haha.. i'm being immature again... hmm... let me give myself an excuse to make me feel better. "i'm still young!" haha. whatever. i think i'm going mad...
i just realised that i'm possesive. goodness... i'm really going mad. i don't know what i'm typing about. argh. i'm really going mad.
how i wish i was more straight forward and tell it to your face. argh. sucks. sucks. sucks.
no.. i don't like -----. i'm different.
i can't make up my mind. i'm switching again... switching... switching.. switching channels of my brain. I'm going to channel it to something else. no more you and you and you.
Woke up at 7 today... "rise and shine" i told myself, as i had to go to sch to do some CLDDS stuff... Had pandan cake and milo bar for breakfast (fat fat fat)... And i was alone again, walking in Orchard... then, just as i was walking past Paragon, it started raining.. :S so i decided to go into Paragon... And i went to Toys r us! :D hahaha... suddenly felt like a grown up kid there... i loved the little toy house! the one that i always wanted last time.. hahaha... Saw something coOl.. but can't remember what was it... ... Anyway, after that, i decided to walk to Taka to wait for Hin Ann... went up to Kinnokuniya(sp) for the first time. I felt, for the first time, LOST. the shelves were TALL and there were MANY books around... and it's so big that hin ann and i cldn't find each other.hahahaha...
Was really glad to finally meet her. Haven't seen her for almost 2 years!!! haha... had a great time with her today..hahaha.. she introduced something nice to eat to me ..haha.. and i can't remember what it is called...
Hmm.. i just realised something... When i go out, i spend most of my money on food. Gahh... now you knw why i'm growing fatter... -_-
haha... i've finally watched a movie this holiday! She's The Man! Go watch! super funny! and if you know the story, Twelfth Night by Shakespearre, u may want to check out the "Modern version" of it! :P
Wednesday, June 07, 2006 I went to Orchard with Kendra, ardnek and myself. why, you may ask. hmm... today's just one of those days when i don't feel like going out with High ppl, neither do i want to go out with ppl who are super quiet. so i decided to go with those 3 ppl mentioned ... haha
yep. at first, i went to J8 to look for hair clips... i didn't find any nice hairclips, but i saw that Action City was selling Nerdy Pooh!!! AHH! That would be in my 'wanted' list! i really, really, REALLY want those two adorable spectacle-d pooh soft toy! anyway, since i didn't find any hairclips in J8, i decided to go to Toa Payoh to look for cheap hair clips.. and i really found them! haha! They are like.. identical to the ones that i saw in Heeren, but 90cents cheaper.. :P After i went to toa payoh, i decided to go to orchard.. Hmm..first thing i did was to go buy Gelato!! haha... but i regretted buying the Mango flavour. It's so.. :S $2.80 wasted manx!
anyway, i was walking.. and walking.. and walking... eating and eating... and soon, i ended up in heeren. Since i didn't decided where i wanted to go, i decided to go in and.. see see look look. HAHA. i went to the Wallet Shop, and saw a purse which i really want! another one in my 'wanted' list. :P After that, i realised that it was time to go meet my sister to go tighten braces! I met her at the Orchard MRT station and her friends actually gave us their balloons... :S they cost $4 EACH! and they gave us 3! $4x3=$12!!! I can spend that much money on a.. i don't know.. food or some clothe! manx.. rich ppl are just like that... *shakes head*
anyway, went for dental appointment. got my braces tightened. :( i can't eat properly... my tooth's moving... :S
Hmm..so this is a recount of boring Kendra out alone.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
how i wish i can delete those thoughts in my brain. or do a scan or arrange the things in my brain properly. I have too many things in my mind and i have a feeling that my brain's going to burst and the juices are going to flood myself.
ARGHH!!!! !!!! !!! !!! !!! !!!
a;odih orgnovjhpiewury pqwiuotyp rtuo ynvpoifbvh o
I want to get out of my house... I want to go for a jog.. or shop.. or whatever... i just want to get out.
It was a beautiful morning when i woke up at 8 as i could see the sun shining... However, while i was having my piano lesson, it started to rain. Normally, when it starts to rain, i start to think of really sad and depressing stuff. and would start to think "why must it rain... .... ...." HOWEVER, i was quite happy that it rained. haha... cause it's a good weather to sleep and i was feeling rather tired.hahaha... yeah! so i wasn't like..burnt by the sun while sleeping (the sun shines into my room in late mornings) but i slept comfortably in a cool temperature :D
0158hrs when blogger didn't allow me in to post... i decided to type out a post onto the notepad.
Quiet... For the first time in a long long time, there wasn't any music from the computer.I didn't turn on the Media Player..haha... and just when it was so quiet, THE HOUSEPhONE RANG. I actually hesitated before answering the phone. Should i pick it up? isit an emergency?I picked up with my heart almost going to pump out of my heart... and when i said "hello,"a super fake lady's voice interrupted."this is the Singtel ... Message service. you have one message from 9190 (don't knw what ler)..the message is: (?????) is going for camp. (???? don't knw what) so happy! .... ??? Smile.... .... (don't knw what) theme/team.... .... ..." HUH???!!!Who on earth would send the message wrongly to my house phone in the middle of the night??And i actually listened to the message twice. The operator's voice was.. :S Since i didn't have anything to do, i decided to go check out who's number started with 9190..and as i've guessed, it was somebody from church! and a sec one!! HUI QI!!!! So, i asked my sister to messaged her to ask her what she wanted to message. and GUESS WHAT?my sister sent the message... TO HER HOUSE PHONE! Great! now, the family would have to wake up to answer a stupid message call! Hahaha...
MOSQUITO BITES i was bathing just now and suddenly realised that 2 of my toes were alittle swollen. They were bitten by mosquito!!-_-"I guess the mosquitos were too bored of biting my legs and arms... and face. that's why they chose my toes. i wonder if my toes are yummier than my arms and legs.. That sounds stupid.. :S
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve
Got this from an email: someone is very proud of you someone is thinking of you someone cares about you someone misses you someone wants to talk to you someone wants to be with you someone hopes you aren't in trouble someone is thankful for the support you have provided someone wants to hold your hand someone hopes everything turns out all right someone wants you to be happy someone wants you to find them someone is celebrating your successes someone wants to give you a gift someone think you ARE a gift someone hopes you are not too cold, or too hot someone wants to hug you someone loves you someone wants to lavish you with small gifts someone admires your strength someone is thinking of you and smiling someone wants to be your shoulder to cry on someone wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun someone thinks the world of you someone wants to protect you someone would do anything for you someone wants to be forgiven someone is grateful for your forgiveness someone wants to laugh with you about old times someone remembers you and wishes you were there someone needs to know that your love is unconditional somebody values your advice someone wants to tell you how much they care someone wants to stay up watching old movies with you someone wants to share their dreams with you someone wants to hold you in their arms someone wants YOU to hold them in your arms someone treasures your spirit someone wishes they could STOP time because of you someone can't wait to see you someone wishes that things didn't have to change someone loves you for who you are someone loves the way you make them feel someone wants to be with you someone hears a song that reminds them of you someone wants you to know they are there for you someone is glad that you're their friend someone wants to be your friend someone stayed up all night thinking about you someone is alive because of you(ehh..haha) someone is wishing that you would notice them someone wants to get to know you better someone believes that you are their soul mate someone wants to be near you someone misses your guidance and advice someon values your guidance and advice someone has faith in you someone trusts you someone needs your support someone needs you to have faith in them someone needs you to let them be your friend
someone some one. haha.. Reminds me of the old me... the someone_1 kendra. haha.. nobody knew manx... only a few. haha.. that was... long long ago.. long long ago...
Saturday, June 03, 2006
i knew that you were going to leave... but didn't know you were leaving by this way... ha. now i know... Go. Go.
YOHO. second of June (third now... it's 0012hrs)!
Hmm..another month's passed! TIME FLIES! Reflecting on May now... what have i done? Honestly, i can't remember much. i only remember the time when i was trying to piss ppl off with "not having Mid-years" idea... then, i remember myself crying because of my results in class... hmm... having the talk on the Sec 2 EDventure camp... dreading the camp... online almost everyday... crying..crying..crying...(??? i feel like a tap...) Sec 2 camp... the fears, cheers, friends, encouragement, FOOD (:S), CANTEEN, TOILET, FROG(one jumped on me. thank you.), haha...i also remembered waking up in the middle of night one in camp looking for molina's watch. I remember... ... walking in early in the morning in Kem Kaizen... the beautiful,beautiful stars... clouds... ... ... ... i remember those tears on the way back to sch. :) hmm.. ahh.. and remember slacking at home!!!
What a month. This year's a rollercoaster year manx! I just realised that i've changed so much in 5 months. (hope i've changed for good)
Oh, anyway, i've added music to my blog. Eh, alright, i know that it's illegal..but.. ... ... ... Gah, no excuse... -_- haha.. i like the song guo min... haha.. to me, the song sounds so... .... ... lonely. i don't knw how to explain lah. but sometimes, i really feel that way... all alone... in my room... mm... ... somehow, i'm just addicted to the song nowadays. then while listening to the song, i'd let my imagination FLY wild. hahaha... but the song lyrics is not really about being lonely lar... (i don't think so... ... )
I'm becoming so random nowadays. My brain's not working well... ... Or am i always so random? haha... well, "it's a good thing to be random ok!" haha. i hope i'm not bluffing myself. hahaha.
Oh manx, the song's making me feel low... :S :S (there! random, random kendra)